Stuck

Longing is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't take you anywhere..

I must admit that I am a bit stuck in the longing. I have to get out of that and realise that it doesn't take me anywhere. It just gives me heartache and misery and the days just disappear without me doing anything about it.

Sweden is so cold and I know for a fact that it's going to get so much worse. And if I start to think about the weather over in Oz I'm just going to get even more miserable! So nope! Focus darlin' focus!

ROAAAAAR!!!!

Time to find a solution to the problem and get going!

Leaving on a jet plane....

..... don't know when I'll be back again... :(
Going back to Sweden today, bitter sweet but I know I have to do it.
I have to go back to study so I can get a job to sponsor me over here. And I wanted to get rid of the suffering knowing that I have to leave when November comes anyway. So I decided to go back to the Swedish summer and get cracking so that I can get a life over here when I am done with my studying. *fingers crossed*
I will miss people over here to death back in Sweden and I would love to bring them all with me.
The Sutcliffes, Alex, Tessa, Karina, Ginski. I have you guys to thank for my fun times here in Sydney! Thanks a lot and I love you all :) If you ever travel to Sweden, give me a call and I'll take you in :D I'll miss you all so much!
Time to get in the shower now and get going. God my suitcase is heavy, hope it is not too heavy though....

Big kiss!

Bye bye Australia, for now ;)

Things you might want to know, or not!

A wee bit sad today so I am doing this for a while to keep my mind from thinking of it.....


a. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? Yepp

b. Put a body part on fire for amusement?Nope

c. Kept a secret from everyone? I try to be as truthful as possible

d. Wanted to hook up with a friend? Haven't we all?

e. Ever thought an animated character was hot? Well I did have a minor crush on Cogo in Starzinger when I was a kiddo (Spaceketeers is the American name for the show)

f. Had a New Kids on the Block tape? Nope

g. Been on stage? ahhhh yeah :) Singing, acting, just love it!

--------------Favourites-------------

a. Shampoo? VO5-Fructis

b. Soap? Lux

c. Day/Night? I love the sun, so day is my answer. Or even better, sunrise ....

d. Colour? Ocean blue or forest green

e. Summer/Winter? Since I am an ocean and sun lover, Summer ofc!

f. Fave TV series? The big bang theory, Family guy, American dad

g. Fave Food? Asian

h. Fave Advert? I hate adverts :P

i. Fave Movie? Soooooo many.....ummm... Donnie Darko is good, but... I really like the pianist! Oh and the piano! Hannibal... The crow, Pans labyrinth, the cube, taxidriver, gilbert grape... wow that's not just one huh? crap

----------RIGHT NOW----------

a. Wearing? Black pants and a blue cotton top with some black printing on

b. Eating? Hehehe.. Turkisk peppar :D

c. Hair is? Semi wet, had a shower not long ago

d. Drinking? Nothing, but maybe I should have a glass of water.. hmm

e. Thinking about? The same thing I am not supposed to think about cause it just makes me want to cry. I think about Sydney and how I'm going to be able to ever get a sponsorship in this country so I can stay forever.

f. Listening to? The wind chime outside

g. Talking to? No one, Chris is working so I don't want to disturb him :)

--THE LAST 24 Hrs-----------

a. Cried? oh yes... Can't stop...

b. Meet any new friends? not really

c. Cleaned your room? My room, hmmmm don't have a room. I sleep in the Office/sun room. Going to be good to have my own room back very soon though :)

---------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------

a. Yourself? yes, I know I can do so much more then I give myself credit for.

b. Your friends? Ofc, Otherwise they wouldn't be my friends

c. Santa Claus? I would love to believe in him, but sorry, no :(

d. Tooth Fairy? Not any more

e. Destiny/Fate? yes

f. Angels? Does the human ones count?

g. Ghosts? Sometimes

---------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------

a. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope, but I would love to be together with that special someone whom you enjoy being around :)

b. Who have u known the longest of your friends? Don't really keep track of that, I am just thankful to have the really good friends that I have.

c. Who's the shyest? Hard one... Think most of them outgrew that :)

d. Who's the craziest? It's probably me but other then that I would say that Pernilla is quite wacky

e. Who do you go to for advice? If it isn't my X boyfriend Niklas I go to my aunts or brother. Pernilla and Maggie are good ones to confide in too.

f. When do you cry the most? When I stop believing in myself and everything feels hopeless

Back from Bali

What to say what to say... Bali was nice :) But I have to say that I do prefer Australia ;D
I had some nice catching up with Helena and her family! Anna is just too cute :D
Went to the water boom park, some nice restaurants, including one down the beach with super expensive food. I relaxed in the sun, I bought a sarong, saw some really pretty things and some not so pretty things. Ate some good food but I did have some quite crappy food too. The snails were pretty awesome though :D YUMMIE!
I got a tan, went for walks, met nice people, took loads of photos, went on carousels, hurt my foot, drank beer, had some nice laughs, ate chocolate mousse, strolled on Kuta beach, got lost and I liked it :D It was fun and nice but I did want to go back to Sydney in the end :) What to say, I am in love with this city!

I went to the Safari and cuddled with tigers, apes, elephants, camels and I had a fun fun time!

Getting my act together

Bali ;)

So, as you all may know already..... I am going to BALI tomorrow morning :D And the cutest thing is that aunty Sandra is driving me to the airport even though I said I will be fine on the train. She is an angel that one! Today I went up early to do the laundry before I leave. Yay.... hahaha! But it needed to be done :)

The rest of the day I've spent in the city sorting things out. Things like; Number to the airline, money exchange, checked to see if my bankcard works abroad (which it did), checked to see if my SIM card works in Indonesia (it does not), investigated how much it would cost me to make my tattoo (100-120 Aus$), asked if my hotel was on the right side of the island (which it is), Got the paperwork sorted to get my superannuation back in the future, and I also enjoyed a bright and sunny, warm Sydney day :D Beautiful!

So the rest of the evening is going to be dedicated to the art of packing. Some ironing and sewing too. And then tomorrow at 9:55 in the morning I will be on a plane out of here :) Beaches and relaxation! I feel that I am definitely worth it! Now some e-mail answering time and then I need to get cracking :)

Toodels everyone! See you in a week ;D

Interesting.... hahahaha ;D

Daily Tarot Card
Page of Cups
A youthful boy with the promise of life and love at his feet. A message of love coming to you. Seduction by a younger person possible. Someone trying to charm you. A love of beauty and imagination. Puppy love. Innocence. A young person at the beginning stages of a new relationship. Possible over-excitement in love. New social contacts are possible.


I just find these Daily tarot cards entertaining :) so if anyone know a youthful boy with the promise of life and love, send him over for gods sake! ;D

Bali is getting Closer and I have a whole day tomorrow dedicated to sorting things out. Bankcards, phone cards, money exchange, tattoo booking (if it's not too expensive), etc etc.
I am super excited about Bali and it is going to be nice to see the Brown family again :D
Hope my cold gets a bit better before I leave on Saturday, hate flying with that shit.....

BALI BALI BALI, Here I come :D

Kaos and fun times

Been a while since my last update now again and I have my reasons. will tell you all about it in a sec. But lets start from the beginning!
I did have a whole week off from work due to Easter and all of that. I really enjoyed my time off and me and Tessa tried to get together and do loads of touristy stuff :)

7/4-2010: We went to the Power House. was great fun! Especially the 80's exhibition where we got nostalgic and took photos of everything! Hahaha! It soon hit us that it was a bit terrible to be so old that your whole childhood was in a museum xD
I think we managed to see all of the exhibitions, including ; Space, Furniture, Old clothes, new clothes, technique etc etc.

9/4-2010: Ok so here comes the story of Friday the 9:th.

Tessa came home from work and I was all dolled up ready to go out with her to meet her NZ friends visiting in Sydney.

We went to a BYO Korean place in China town and waited for the boys to show up. We all got drunk and we had a hell of a good time!

We all walked up to Kings Cross and on the way over we literally bumped in to "The mad butcher" AKA; Peter Charles Leitch. He is an honorary league ambassador for the Vodafone Warriors, and both the Auckland and New Zealand Rugby Leagues.
After that we ventured on towards the cross. The problem was that one or two of the boys looked a bit scruffy and drunk so they weren't allowed in anywhere. So we just had to go to a strip club ;D hahahaha! Me and Tessa felt that we needed to take the boys to see some strippers whilst in the Cross, aren't we great friends!?

After the strip club Tessa went back on the last train to Oatly since she was working on the Saturday. I stayed out with a couple of the boys and we went to my old workplace "Goldfish". Had some good fun in there! That is until I lost the boys and I was all by myself. I decided that I have had enough and I went out to grab a cab back home. All of a sudden I woke up, lying in the arms of a cab driver calling an ambulance!!!! I had no idea what happened but the taxi driver told me he saw a guy hitting me from behind whilst I was hailing down a cab. WHAT THE FUCK! I went in and out of consciousness until the Ambulance came and the hit and the fall made me sick so I spewed all the time. Not so very YUMMY! Got taken to the hospital and they said that I had a concussion going on. They took some tests and then they let me wait around for 5 hours before I decided that I just wanted to go home, have a shower and then sleep for days! So I tried to wash up as much as I could and then I left the hospital.

That same evening when me and Tessa was just lying around doing nothing it was a knock on the door. The police had found out where I lived and they just wanted to check up on how I was, which was very nice of them! And they also asked me if I wanted to press charges. Since I had no idea whom this person hitting me over the head from behind was I decided not to.

I am feeling all good today and it all feels like a weird dream. I am very happy the dude didn't decide to stab me in the back with a knife and now I can also say that I have been in an ambulance in Sydney xD hahahahaha! One has to see the good in everything, otherwise you do go insane!

Been Working for a couple of days last week when I felt good enough and this upcoming week I am working for for days, 9 hours a day. Friday I have off to get ready for Bali on Saturday! YAY! God I deserve some rest ;)

Yesterday me, Tessa and Alex went to Dave's for his "back to school" themed birthday party. I went as the school nurse, Tessa as a teacher and Alex as a school boy. Seemed like most of the guys dressed up as girls and vice versa :D Had some nice conversation, good food and drinks and some great laughs. Guess there will be some photos coming up soon since Dave had a camera that got passed around the entire evening :D

A nice Chinese garden in the middle of Sydney. Being bored in Oatley taking some pictures :)

Narrabeen

I've had a beautiful couple of first days in Oatley!
Been walking around the neighbourhood with Tessa, got my hair cut in Bondi Junction (I am just in love with that place), and yesterday we went to the Northern beaches to pay Tessa's friend a visit :)

Before we got picked up, me and Tessa had a walk around in Manly and I found a Scandinavian shop! They did have the Swedish candy but I decided I wanted something else instead. something I've been wanting for a long long time.

I am just in love with my necklace :D
and why did I choose the rings I chose? Hmmmm... Well it is after these things I function. Dream a little about it, then just fucking do it ;D

After the necklace was bought we met up with Tessa's friend. She took us out for some touristy sightseeing and we ended up seeing loads of beaches and pretty views!

Apparently none of them could believe that I've never had fish and chips before, so that was what we had for lunch :)
Saw a couple of beaches that day including Palm beach (where they film "home and away").
We also had a nice beach walk that evening, just acting like kids, doing sand angels, poking weird things with sticks and so on and so on :)

When we were going home at around six o'clock, Tessa's friend decided that she wanted to join us. So we had a little road trip to Oatly! When we finally got there after some detours to the cross and Hurstville we baked an crumble apple cake and saw "Sauna". Pretty good Finnish/Russian movie that I think you all should see. After that we went to bed around 11 o'clock. We are such good kinds ;)

Today I am off to Bondi to pay G a visit. Sweet as.

MWAH!

Bliss :)

Ten of Pentacles
Affluence all around you. Wealth of spirit and resources. Plenty to share with loved ones and friends. Financial security has been reached. Time to create a foundation that will secure wealth for long-term. Family life is in order. Cycle is at an end and you can be satisfied with your work. Stability is at hand. Relax and enjoy time with your loved ones.


Ahhhh, what to say what to say :)

Tomorrow I am moving in with aunty Sandra and it will be sooooooo nice to move out of this place. Will not miss it a bit :)
And the fact that I have my next upcoming 5 weeks planned and sorted makes me feel super happy.
So Oatly here I come! And a week off from work does make it all a whole lot better!

Looks like me and Tessa is heading off to the Northern beaches on Sunday to a friend of hers and we'll be spending the night too. Sounds like great fun! Hope the weather is great this week. Have so many things I want to do :)

Bliss bliss bliss! 10 o'clock tomorrow I will be out of here! :D

MWAH!

Survived

It is Tuesday, I survived Monday.. Pew... Four more days of agony ;)
So many things keeping me up at night, wish that it could stop so I'm at least not tired.
Drinks on Saturday people? Hell yeah! Some beach time before that and I should be golden :D
God I don't make any sense today. Lack of sleep always get to me xD Must be the blondness ;)
Hi ho Hi ho off to work I go!

Week activities

Wednesday, had some food, wine and watched some family guy episodes with G. Nice nice evening ;)

Friday, not very exciting but nice as hell! Just had a quiet night in doing the laundry :)

Saturday I first of all went to the beach cause it was soooo hot outside! Got to Coogee and I went for a swim which nearly killed me. The water is so much colder now then before! Oh well I like swimming so I went in anyway ;) After 3 hours the beach got informed that there was a bluebottle attack and we were advised to not go in to the water any more. So I said "fuck it" and went home :D

(Do I need to say that I enjoyed my view at the beach? ;), and should I listen to what the gods are trying to tell me?? hahahaha!)

After some dinner and a quick visit from Tessa I got ready and then I went out with miss Karina. Went to Oxford street and tried to find Dr Pong. Did not succeed at all so we just went to three other bars instead! Had some nice conversation and good drinks! She is a lovely girl that one! Came home at around 2:30 and had a midnight snack and did some drunk texting, as you usually do xD

(Miss Karina! :))

After finally waking up at around 10:30 I decided that I wanted to go and see my first 3D movie ever! So I fucking did! Went to see Avatar, and I guess you have to be some kind of computer game nerd to actually appreciate it. Cause I just loved it ;) Took me back to my super nerdy World of Warcraft days xD hahahahaha. I did enjoy it a lot and I found the 3D very lovely! We need more of that in Sweden for gods sake!

Tomorrow it is time for work again and I am ready for it! Not very happy about it, but you know how it is ;)

Bali booked

Bali is now booked and paid for :D One week of relaxation in paradise in the end of April :)
Now I just have to do the other things on the list and I am golden!
Might add another thing to the list also.

- Get another tattoo ;D

Now I am off to work work work. Money!

Things I just have to do, soon!

- Go to Hunter Valley to see some wineries
- Hold an animal
- Go to Bali
- Snorkel
- Go to blue mountains

Things to do if I have enough money:
- Shark dive

Just 10 days ago...

.... I was seriously thinking about going back home and just forgetting about everything that had to do with Australia. Now I am a bit happier and I would like to thank Karina and G for that! I had a nice and fun Saturday you guys :D Me and Karina had pre drinks at my place and then we headed of to the Cross! The weirdest part is that we went to my old workplace, Goldfish... Ehummm... It was my idea to go there just to see what the fuck was going on. The bouncer was very happy to see me which I liked. No one likes to stand in lines ;D And the owner was quite happy to see me to which was wierd... We all know that I did not like those guys after what happened the last time I was working there! And I actually got asked if I wanted to start working again xD And fuck yeah it felt good to say NO!!!! hahahahaha mahahahaha!
Met Dardan again, the bartender, which was fun. Happy he didn't make me drink tequila though ;D
Shortly after we came to the place, I called G over with friends and brother whom were celebrating their cousins birthday.
I got seriously hit on by a weird guy who didn't stop. And i had to tell him that I was married and had a kid until he actually gave up, felt bad about the whole thing and bought me a drink! And he did try to force one on G which was hilarious xD
All I need to say is that I had fun and yes people, I did get a bit drunk ;D
I must say that I am very disappointed about the new shoes I had on! I lost a heal :( Going back with those mofos to the store this weekend!

Yepp I got my weekends back btw. Now I am working 8 hours a day on two different coffee shops on Sydney university of NWS campus. I start working at the first one at 10 in the morning until 2. Then I start at the other one at 4 until 8 in the evening. I'm home around 8:15 which is an alright time.
A random thing happened on the way home from work tonight. I kicked a possum in the stomach by accident :-S I was minding my own business walking and all of a sudden I could feel my foot hitting something hard. Hahaha stupid Possum!
Now I am going to Spend some random time on the internet, learn something new and then doze off! Ahhhh sleep, I love you my dear friend!

This weekend must have some sunshine in store for me, cause I want some beach time! :) Anyone feel like joining me, give me a buzz! Oh and I also want to ( for some weird reason ) Go for some karaoke!! *claps hands and go crazy* Haven't done that since i went with Pernilla back in Sweden :) Sooooooo, up for that? Give me a call babes and bitches :)

Mwah!

Hmmmm

I do not know what to think..
I am working at a bowling bar at the king street wharf. Works out fine except that I am crappy at making cocktails!
I only get like 4-5 hour shifts 4-5 days a week though :( Hope that picks up.. Cause my belly is hurting from the fact that I do not know what to do if my money runs out. I do not want to go home now that I am here again. But I do have to admit that I am missing the people in Sweden like a mofo...
Might just be the fact that I am in a very sensitive week of the month. Ehumm... ;D Makes you feel a bit lonely and cuddly.
Well I gotta keep going, cause snow isn't on my wish list ;)
Had two interviews yesterday. One at the Sydney University Campus in a retail clothing store. They seemed keen and I was too.
After that interview I had another up in North Sydney for the captain and GM of two boats that host celebrities and wealthy people xD I was short listed over there so hopefully!

Now some Family guy! I fucking deserve some Family guy! work starts at 3 so i still have time :)

In the sun

The Sun
Prosperity in relationships and career is possible now. Sun God present and shining down upon you. A good time to plant new crops or begin new projects from the ground up. Negativity of Moon's influences gone and cycle can begin anew. Truth and revelation. Good health, recovery and happiness. Time out in the sun is called for, perhaps a vacation to a warm place is warranted. All things bright and out in the open.

Well I was out in the sun today... And umm... this is the result:

Ouch... Oh well.. I am in Australia and I am happy, fuck it! :D

What have I done latley?

Work work wooork work work and a bit of job searching.

Australia day: Went to Newtown with Clare and Pete. Did some nice shopping and had some sushi from a sushi train. Yum!
Later that evening me and Clare met up with Lizzie to go to the open air cinema down at the harbour. She had some spare tickets and we accepted :) One of the coolest things ever to see that screen pop up, with the Opera house and the harbour bridge in the background. And the animals you could hear in the park behind made it really sweet. Wicked! Thanks Liz!



Last weekend we had the house warming. Some people dropped by and we drank! Hahahahaha, no shit Sherlock! Lizzie came with a whole box of booze, big hit! Had a nice time meeting up with new people :)



This weekend though I did do other things since I decided that I didn't want to do any homework! Thursday I babysat G's friend Mark. Since I babysat him he bought me dinner, sweet as!

Friday I went out with Luke. Had a couple of drinks at different drummer and was home and asleep at 23:00 :)

Saturday I went to G's in Bondi and hanged out with him and Mark. Had some food and watched some series.

Sunday me and Clare went to aunty Sandra's to see the baaaaaaaaaaaabyyyyyy!*said with a high pitch voice* :D hihi! Baby Ben was coming over and Sandra invited us for a viewing and lunch. Superb food and nice company :) The pictures are of the cute little family and of Aunty Alex being a bit confused over the fact that baby Ben just grabbed her boob xD hihihihi!


Fill you in more in a couple of days *being all secretive* ;)

All is well :)

Everything went well yesterday at work! No one hit me in the head with a branch, pointed and laughed, flushed my bag down the toilet etc etc.. peeeeew... haha! Now I am a bit nervous about the pithch we (the new people, 3 of us) have to write over the weekend and then start using to the clients over the phone :-S Oh well... If I do screw up utterly and super bad I will learn from it xD

Other then that I have a big weekend coming up. Last Friday of the month and the co workers are going out for Friday drinks tomorrow. And the boss pointed at me and said something like "you watch yourself on Friday! We have some pretty straight forward blokes at the office" xD hahahahaha. Dangerous to be a Swedish blonde in this country I guess ;)

Saturday I have my house warming/job celebration party coming up! *cheer* Hope I see you there!

Now I need to get some breakfast, get my shovel and go to work ;)

Mwah!

New day, first day at work...

And this is the tarot card of the day. Promising? Breathe Jennifer... Ihhhhhhh Exciting! Good thing it is only a short week! House warming coming up on Saturday! Yaaaayyyy! Can't wait :D Now I am off to my job.. Shit shit shit.... :D

The Hierophant
Teachings and teachers coming into one's life. Possible marriage or partnership. Blending of two opposing points of view into one harmonious venture. Partnership in business. Possible new contracts. Traditions. Universal laws and traditions. Spiritual authority or counsel is needed. Seek esoteric meanings from events surrounding one. Servitude to a higher purpose or authority. Desire to perform good works. Divine wisdom. Blessings coming into focus. A benevolent authority figure that can be trusted for their counsel.

I cried today...

...For the first time in a very long time. Now this separation thing hit me and I realised that I am actually here, I am going to be here for a long time and I do miss people back in Sweden. I miss doing the crossword puzzle with my aunt and grandmother the most. Quite a silly thing maybe but those are the ones I met most frequently, so no wonder I miss them.

I think it all hit me cause of the nervousness about the new job at Marcus Evans. This is such a serious thing for me and life changing. So what if I break down again, like I've done before when I've started on something challenging? What if this wasn't the right decision at all? Then what?

Wow, being alone sure isn't healthy when you go in to these kind of self destructive thoughts. I just felt so lonely even though I am surrounded with wonderful people all the time over here.

Better just go to bed and try not to think about it too much!
Tomorrow is a new day and we are meeting up at the park to say bye bye to Lizzie. Stupid Lizzie for leaving, I like that girl! :D

Nighty night people!